Living a Life full of Adventure For Him!

Change Blog!

2005-12-25T01:04:00.000+08:00

Hey guys! It's time for me to change blog again!
Haha...

My Blog is now http://ackj.blogspot.com!

Double Portion of God's Annointing

2005-12-19T01:36:00.000+08:00

Wow! It's really been a long time since I last updated.
Anyway... the Singapore EXPO services were great.

Many adjustments being made, such as new LED boards and better lightning.

First ever candlelight service today! We lighted up each other's candles and sang Silent Night during service. So beautiful to see 7000 candles lighted up admist the darkness.

FCBC's located 2 halls away in Hall 10 (The Max Pavillion)...
Two megachurches in the same place.
Double portion of God's annointing. Hallelujah!

By the way, I'm changing blogs soon... On Christmas Day! Now doing the final adjustments and stuff... Still got some problems.

Hold on, I'll grab a few photos of the new auditorium from CHC's webby...

Welcome to our opening services!

EXPO Hall 8- Where our services are!
Pastor Sidney (True Worshippers) from Indonesia leads Praise and Worship!
Pastor Kong (Founder-Senior Pastor [Honorary/Voluntary]) opens up the service!

Congregation... 7000 seater, 2 services...
More space to grow...

The stage (set up by UnUsUal Productions and designed by SUN).

Wishing you an early Christmas! Remember, the reason for Christmas...

Note: All images above are copyrights of City Harvest Church (Singapore). For more information, please visit our website at www.chc.org.sg or email us at info@chc.org.sg.

The Closing of a Chapter...

2005-12-04T23:48:00.000+08:00

This is it.
The closing of one chapter of City Harvest Church.
Haha. I almost cried.

The last 2 services at Jurong West were awesome!
John Avanzini (International Faith Center, USA) talked about covering.
Bro John talked about how your pastor is your covering.
Robin Harfouche (Retired Hollywood Dancer, USA) talked about her life testimony.
Wow. It was awesome and during the altar call, hundreds accepted Christ.

Then we took pictures at church. For the last time. =(
Haha. I will upload the building pictures here. The FIRST titanium church in the world!

Anyway, City Harvest isn't gonna close.
WE'RE MOVING FROM GLORY TO GLORY, AND HONOR TO HONOR
to our temporary location at the 7,000-seater Singapore Expo Hall 8!
Woohoo!

Titanium Church Cover, with Rotating Cross

Queueing up for the VERY last service at Jurong West.
(Yes ITS GOING DOWN)

Stage at Main Auditorium (Basement 4)
(Largest Column Free Sanctuary with 2100 seats)

(C) 2005 City Harvest Church
During a service at main auditorium.

Last view of church building.
Thank you for these 4 wonderful years!

... and the Opening of a new Chapter

Milestone.

2005-11-10T17:17:00.000+08:00

4 more weeks before we're moving to Singapore EXPO.
But I'm not really that excited cos this is only temporary.
We're looking for a building that is FOR the marketplace, IN the marketplace to PENETRATE into the marketplace.
If God can build a $48 million building debt free, then this is also possible.

Anyway, now holidays very sian.
Hahaha.

Will blog more later.

Yay!

2005-10-23T09:55:00.000+08:00

Hey people!
I'm back!

Guess what?
I don't need to retain.
I MERELY passed my EOYs!

Went for svc 1 last yesterday.
Powerful message.
Haha.
Pastor Kong rocks!

God Has A Reason

2005-10-19T21:25:00.000+08:00

God Has a Reason

by Ryan MacDonald

Age 11

In times of sadness and cruelty,

God has a reason.

When the most horrid disaster dwells upon the land,

God has a reason.

The things that one would think would tear us apart,

Pull us into a brotherhood with God.

A shadow has fallen upon this nation

Only to be reshaped by love and hope.

Hearts have been broken from this storm,

And yet -- like a rose --

The thorn is sharp, but the velvet red petals are magnificent.
When this black hood of sorrow is lifted from our heads,

We will have learned.

We will have been changed by the Lord to love one another,

To help each other at any cost,

Whether the cost is life or death.

Blood has been shed.

Tears have dripped.

Now it's your turn to make a difference.

God has a reason.

Results sucks.

2005-10-18T22:42:00.000+08:00

Im getting real anxious sia.
Tomorrow get results... Scared kena retain. Not been doing well.

Haiz....

Highest

2005-10-11T23:21:00.000+08:00

Was singing this song during quiet time just now.
Meaningful song. Man, presence was so strong...

YOUR LOVE O LORD
IS LIKE THE OCEANS
DEEPER THAN ENDLESS SEAS

YOUR FAITHFULNESS
IS LIKE THE MOUNTAINS
AND YOUR WORD NEVER FAILS

GLORY TO GOD
LET EVERY HEART SING
GLORY TO GOD
IN THE HIGHEST

LET US ADORE
WONDERFUL SAVIOUR
CROWN HIM FOREVER OUR KING

Subject to change.

2005-10-09T22:57:00.000+08:00

Today went for 11.30 service as I had tuition.
Pastor Carl-Gustaf Severin was good. Great evangelistic message.
Everything's subjected to change! =))

Saw my ex-cell members.
Really miss them. Especially those who I was close with.

Anyway, I'm damn worried for my exams.
Tomorrow's the main exam week.
Prayerfully I will do well!
Cos everything's subjected to change!

Recently read the newspapers about an article on teacher's evangelising.
I'll try to keep my opinions censored here, in light of recent events.
But its true that the teacher was wrong to persuade the student.
God gave everyone free will to choose.
Anyway, these things aren't for me to judge. So... let's leave it aside.

Haha. Im really tired now.
Gotta get some sleep. Bye.

Aaah! One Last Week...

2005-10-04T21:01:00.000+08:00

LOL.
Exam's coming so fast.
Already 2 papers over. Friday still got 2 more.
Getting nervous.
Dun wanna retain!

Anyway these few days like got nothing to blog about.
Starting to mug more and more lor.
Apart from that, nothing much liao.

Haha. I wanna change handphone.
And the aircon's damn cold here.

Prayer

2005-09-29T22:16:00.000+08:00

Haha. Good to have a topic to blog about again.
God really treats prayer seriously.
Think about it.
99% of all prayer requests acceptable unto God are answered.
The other 1% is not because God wants to give you an endurance test.
True?

But praise God for answering my prayers.
Sometimes in an unexpected way.
But for my own good. So yup, praise God!

2005-09-27T00:13:00.000+08:00

Exams in 1 week time.
Hope I'll not retain. =)

All I Need is You.

2005-09-25T23:05:00.000+08:00

Sung this song during service today.
Will try to put it up on my blog.
It's really nice. Lol.

All I need is You Lord,
All I need is You.

Exams in 2 weeks time. Really close.
Like what pastor said, I should overcome my fear and not let fear overcome me.
The fear of failing and retaining and I know I haven't been doing well this year.
Made a commitment not to play Maple till the end of the exams.
Hahaha.

Feel that I am opening up more to my cg members.
And that's a good thing. They're not indimidating people anymore.
Putting my past behind and starting ahead.
But seriously, I'm beginning to forget what happened.

Ivan and Shenny went for service today.
Hope you all enjoyed the service.

Oh yea, people...
Tag before you leave can? =))

Rushing...

2005-09-12T00:04:00.000+08:00

Now struggling with holiday homework. English... last part haven't do yet! Aaaah! Haha.
I'm gonna miss the holidays, cos can sleep alot. =)) LOL...

Been looking at the past entries in the blog, and my how much I have matured.
Praise God for the change!

Today's sermon was about "the Heart of Worship". Powerful.

Hee. God is great.

Back!

2005-09-09T21:31:00.000+08:00

LOL. Really don't know why I'm neglecting this blog so much.
Should be no inspiration to update. Haha.
So I'm gonna type a very long entry today k?

Today went to Biopolis. Quite a nice place and my uncle's cafe is there too! So if you're at Nanos building, go to Moovellous cafe k? Haha. =)) It seems quite weird to be there. The stuff they were talking about is way cheeem. And the scientists who explained to us the stuff they were experimenting with are from different countries, from US, Korea, India, China and Singapore. Haha. Their accents were all different and I had trouble adapting. LOL.

I just made ice cream! Unsuccessfully. Haha. That stupid milk is so damn low class. Hee. Shall buy cream next time.

Tomorrow's my mom's birthday! And I haven got her anything yet. What a bad boy. LOLs. Think shall give her that spa voucher I received (only for women aged 21 and above). I know its very cheap but she dosen't noe mah.

Church! I found out that a sec 1 guy is also a CHC member and another sec 3 gal. So excited. We got so many undiscovered CHC members. And Rev. Dr. Richard Roberts is gonna preach next week! He's a gifted evangelist and also head of the Oral Roberts University. I feel its gonna be a great time with him. But not forgetting with Pastor Kong this week. Miss him. LOL. 2 weeks never preach in church.

I'm gonna miss tommorrow's BBQ. Sigh... Can I go in the evening? I hope so...

Oh ya today's meeting sucks. Was so dissappointed with my IT committee members. But can't blame them, the other committees got no meeting. This is probably the last meeting till the end of year examinations finishes. Will pass all info to the department heads in my committee by sms.

But praise God for the many good things He has done in my life! He answered so many of my prayers. God is real! Woohoo.

Now, is this a long entry?

2005-09-07T17:44:00.000+08:00

Haha... really a long time since I last updated. God has really been good to me. Guess what happened is now over. I joined a new CG but I will still miss those in E18/E357. =))

I'm now in church! Lol. Just now had east cluster prayer meeting. Later at 7 got zone conference on eangelism. It's gonna be great.

I'm tempted to buy the new Planetshaker's album. LOL. But building fund. Needto sacrifice.

Haha. Im off.

Out.

2005-08-27T23:24:00.000+08:00

Psalm 91 (NKJV)
Safety of Abiding in the Presence of God

1 He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High
Shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.

2 I will say of the LORD, “He is my refuge and my fortress;
My God, in Him I will trust.”

3 Surely He shall deliver you from the snare of the fowler
And from the perilous pestilence.

4 He shall cover you with His feathers,
And under His wings you shall take refuge;
His truth shall be your shield and buckler.

5 You shall not be afraid of the terror by night,
Nor of the arrow that flies by day,

6 Nor of the pestilence that walks in darkness,
Nor of the destruction that lays waste at noonday.

7 A thousand may fall at your side,
And ten thousand at your right hand;
But it shall not come near you.

8 Only with your eyes shall you look,
And see the reward of the wicked.

9 Because you have made the LORD, who is my refuge,
Even the Most High, your dwelling place,

10 No evil shall befall you,
Nor shall any plague come near your dwelling;

11 For He shall give His angels charge over you,
To keep you in all your ways.

12 In their hands they shall bear you up,
Lest you dash your foot against a stone.

13 You shall tread upon the lion and the cobra,
The young lion and the serpent you shall trample underfoot.

14 “Because he has set his love upon Me, therefore I will deliver him;
I will set him on high, because he has known My name.

15 He shall call upon Me, and I will answer him;
I will be with him in trouble;
I will deliver him and honor him.

16 With long life I will satisfy him,
And show him My salvation.”

Can't Hide Myself Anymore...

2005-08-25T22:51:00.000+08:00

Seriously...
I don't feel the same anymore.
Today I found out that someone very close to me backslided.
Its so sudden.

Then about my ex cell group. I just can't let go.
It's like its very simple for other Christians to say to me, "believe in God" or "I'll pray with u/for u" but if you experience what I experienced... Haiz...

Then SJAB.
I can't take it le.
Just wanna commit suicide.
I have enough of Ms Ross and Ms Yip giving me stress everyday.
I have enough of being their "dog", running up and down.
I have enough of letting people vent their anger on me, be it NCOs or officers.
I have enough of officers insulting me.
I have enough!

I AM NOT COMING FOR TOMORROW'S TRAINING.
ITS FINAL.
YOU ALL CAN STRESS ME ALL U WANT
I DUN CARE... THE MOST I COMMIT SUICIDE IN FRONT OF YOU ALL U ALL WAN?

Carrier of God's Presence

2005-08-19T23:17:00.000+08:00

To have the presence of God in your life.
Awesome. Powerful.
People around you will know that there's something different about you.

Like one of the role models in my life, he really changed me.
Strong spiritual leadership in both school and life.
He can influence and impact easily.

So let's connect with God.

Praise to a New Level

2005-08-10T13:34:00.000+08:00

Festival of Praise and CHC's 16th Anniversary celebrations was simply awesome!

Hillsong and Delirious? were led praise and worship in Festival of Praise. Went for all 3 nights. Woo!
The songs sung by Hillsong consisted of many new songs from their albums God He Reigns and Look To You.
On the whole, it really looked like something from Unified:Praise (a combined praise and worship recording by Hillsong and Delirious? in Australia).
Especially the "I want you to take your neighbours hands and jump in the air on the count of 3." part. Haha.
However, it was disappointing in a sense too. Many people left halfway. I was in the balcony seat and I could see that there were less than 15 people left. Haiz... just felt that they had no respect for the presence of God. Anyway, we cant control people's actions. The Bible says, in the last days, Christ will vomit out these kind of Christians out of His Body.

CHC's 16 anniversary celebrations was also great. Shall update on that soon as well as the launch of CROSS.

1 Make a joyful shout to the LORD, all you lands!
2 Serve the LORD with gladness;
Come before His presence with singing.
3 Know that the LORD, He is God;
It is He who has made us, and not we ourselves;
We are His people and the sheep of His pasture.
4 Enter into His gates with thanksgiving,
And into His courts with praise.
Be thankful to Him, and bless His name.
5 For the LORD is good;
His mercy is everlasting,
And His truth endures to all generations.

- Psalm 100 (NKJV)

Awesome God

2005-08-02T17:01:00.000+08:00

Sometimes I wonder why do I need to experience breakdowns or mood swings.
Last week during SJAB training, no doubt I broke down.
The amount of stress piling up on me and also having to see my cadets suffer.
Just felt so bad.
Thanks to God's angels at that time, Connie and Maggie,
whom I really had a heart-to-heart talk with.
I then had a heart-to-heart talk with all the cadets, chasing the other ICs and OCs out.
Shao Cheng sorta spoilt my original plan but its still ok.
They got a fuller understanding and I believe that SJAB will change. Yup...

Truly things change if you look at them another way.
How awesome is God but how stupid I am not to realise it, to take His greatness for granted.
I realised that God planned everything for me.
Yup, I know that I have no cell group now. But so what? I have Him.
That is what matters. God.

Troubled =((

2005-07-31T23:39:00.000+08:00

I am really troubled. Haiz...
Don't ask me why.
Have I become over-sensitive.
It seems I get upset over every single thing now.

Why have so much change after what happened?
God help me!

Potential

2005-07-27T19:44:00.000+08:00

Potential is dormant ability, reserved power, untapped strength and capped capabilities.

- From "Potential" by Rev. Kong Hee

Was reading Mr Jae's blog, and this quote from pastor came into my mind almost immediately. No comments about what happened though, because I'm not in 3E3 and I don't know what happened...

Limits!

2005-07-21T23:16:00.000+08:00

I'm totally stretched to my ultimate limit.
Physically, mentally and spiritually!
Aaaaah!

These few days my mood swings are becoming more and more frequent sia.
I've suddenly become so serious and easily agigated.
Should be the amount of stress piling up.
Haiz...

I can't cope with my studies.
Not say I cannot cope, but that level of attention isn't there anymore.
I can't study at home. But I must make a try to study. Determination.

Oh yea speaking of home, I find out I get tired now easily.
When I went home at about 6 plus today, I literally fainted.
Yes, fainted.

In church, I recently met my ex-cell group members.
I wanted to cry when I met them. Just so sad.
Many of them got a seriously wrong impression of what happened.
It's not about that, it's about something else.

But through all these, I know God is testing me.
His vision for me is higher than anyone else.
Through Christ, all things are possible.

God He Reigns, God He Reigns,

Holy is the Lord of Heaven

God He Reigns, God He Reigns,

Forevermore...

No CCA =((

2005-07-14T09:21:00.000+08:00

CCA cancelled cos of O-level exams.
Stupid sia. I planned the whole night yesterday and this is what happened.
Haiz...

Unless can go out of school to conduct the CCA or even better, SJAB HQ. Haha.
I can feel that they are gonna enjoy it.
If they miss it today, it's back to the hectic schedule with Kevin and Hussani back next week.

=((

A New Me?

2005-07-10T22:12:00.000+08:00

Some ex-cg members missed my lameness when fellowshipping with the cell group.
But I need to confess.
After what happened, everything in me changed.
I realised that I cannot take things with a light-hearted manner or else I will be prosecuted.
I need to take things very seriously.
See my attitude now. It's totally changed. No more the light-hearted me, I am stressed out. Totally stressed out. Sick and tired. Of life. Of everything!
Cos what happened is not entirely my fault. I only admitted that it was because I didn't wanna continue this.
I am sick and tired of these arguments and quarrels. They felt that it was better for me to leave so that it will not affect other cg members.
Sorry to my ex-cg members.
And great job to some who are trying to forget me. (I am not being sarcastic but I sincerely feel that it is what u should do)

Pastor Kong's recent messages are totally confusing me.
If it is right to follow a dream, then why is this happening?
I know that pple will try and stop me, but what if it is this group of people?
I am totally stuck.

I am so far away from Him now. I am so stale in fellowship.
When I go to church, I go alone. I am in the auditorium alone. In the cafe alone.
I cannot face up to my friends in ministry. They know that something is wrong.
Especially when I suddenly left. I just... I almost cried when I see people fellowshipping.
I got no support, no backbone in church now.

Join a new cg?
But after what happened, do u think it will be easy for me?
I am human. I got feelings.

That's all.

Regd,
ur ex-brother in cg

Busy!!!

2005-07-05T21:38:00.000+08:00

Been extremely busy these past few weeks with LCDJ investiture and SJAB stuff.
Investitures like 3 or 4 days of rehearsals? SJAB now stress!!!
That's why I couldn't find time to update.
Haha. Sorry.
Like my new blog design and song?
Anyway the song's Untitled by Simple Plan.
Just feels that it symbolizes my life right now.

From Mr Jae's blog:
"I expect conflicts in the the council because everyone in the council is a natural leader. We are using the lion as our council logo and the lion is a leader and is courageous, not to mention bold. And when you put MANY lions together in the council, you would expect conflicts."
I am not ashamed to admit that I was in it too and
I felt it was really ridiculous to be involved in these conflicts.
The council should act as one united family.
Should really let go of my grudges.
Anyway thanks to Daryl, Aik Kun, Yan Ting and Hanis for listening to my rantings. Haha.

Anyway tomorrow's the BIG DAY! Woohoo.
Quite excited.
Anyway, after this, I will get back to studying and also church, something that I have been neglecting for a long time.
But I'm not ready to join a cell group yet, I want to just be personal with God for a while after that big blow. Maybe in one or two months time.

Anyway, my IT committee's out!
The people are me, Willy, Li Qiang, See Wee, Yan Ting, Daryl, Joceyln and Hui Jun.
10 weeks to complete the Council website.
I'll be working with the Media Club Production people too to get this website done and also for photography stuff.
Will inform them/ you all soon. =))

Gtg. Bye!

Thailand

2005-06-16T14:31:00.000+08:00

Thailand was amazing!
Especially with all those spicy food and fake products on sale.
I'm loving travelling more and more these days. Haha.
Now looking foward to my next trip. Hopefully Canada (I miss Amanda!) or Switzerland (I miss William!) Haha.

Anyway, came back from a rough flight.
I'm still quite dizzy. Feeling like the whole place is moving.
Haha. Will update more.
Let me rest first.

Whee... Flying off soon!

2005-06-11T07:42:00.000+08:00

Now at Changi Airport mac... flying off soon...
Not excited lah but my cousin seems excited.
Hahaha.

Bored!

2005-06-08T01:21:00.000+08:00

Been browsing through other people's blogs.
Until I realised I have been neglecting my own.
Haha.

Real bored. =((
Help!
Tomorrow still gotta go school...
Don't feel like going at all.
Haiz...

Rather Uneventful Week =))

2005-06-06T00:19:00.000+08:00

Sighs... Rather uneventful week.
Missed the Student Council Camp.
Or rather, LCDJ [Le Council De Junyuan] Camp.
Haha, sounds so French.

Going overseas this Sat (no lah, not to Sentosa). Want to see me off? Joking... xD
Going to three parts of Thailand: Bangkok, Pattaya and the expressway between the Bangkok and Pattaya (lame but there are some tourist attractions there).
Not excited at all. But looking foward to this trip as a time to DESTRESS from what happened.
Best of all, NO PARENTS! Woohoo! Just me, my cousin and my grandfather (he's a very "anything also can" person...)
But it seems my cousin is excited. Haha. Perhaps its she has not been to other countries without her parents before.
I mean she started packing already. Kiasu lah Iona.

Lol. Anyway see ya soon.

Leaving a Legacy, Making a Difference

2005-06-03T22:44:00.000+08:00

Left cell group cos of reasons not within my control.
Parental objections from going to church.
Bad exam results.
Closest cousin migrated to Canada.
Sister's fever up to 39.3deg C.
Stress and more stress from Student Council and SJAB.
What more bad things can you expect that will happen to me?

It really affected me alot, spritually, mentally and physically.
All these things happened these just these past two weeks.
All at the same time.
I feel like I got no one supporting me now.
No cell group members that will constantly pray for each other in times of need.
No encouragement pray. No willpower to worship. No commitment anymore after I left the cell group.
What's happening to me? I don't want to backslide.
But with no one, no one at all to support me, to encourage me.
I can't feel His presence in my life anymore. I started walking, I stopped running.

I want all these to change.
But with all this stress amounting, how can I take it?
Is God testing me? Or is the devil trying to make me go back to the world?

I talk to cell members now. It's like its totally different from before.
Just different. I feel I can't talk to them. Like a wall between us.

I've been watch live services on the internet from my church.
Even today.
But the messages don't impact me anymore. Dosen't touch into my lives anymore.

Have I backslided? No!
I will build up my faith in God.
It dosen't matter if I have to start all out again,
new cell group or even a new church (I hope NOT, I love CHC).
I know where I was wasn't where God placed me in.
So I'm waiting. I trust in Him. I know that He will never betray me.

Amen.

Thank You E18+E357

2005-05-24T22:07:00.000+08:00

Dear Bros and Sis from E18+E357,

By the time you read this (through Sister Meiyan's/Sister Xiaoting's announcement), you would have already known that I have transferred cell groups due to personal reasons. These are reasons that I will not reveal, and Sister Meiyan will not too as it is 'somewhat too personal'. I would appreciate that you do not ask me about it.

It is hard for me to transfer to another cell group, especially when it is so sudden. I just want you to know that no one in the cell group, in fact, no one at all is to be blamed regarding this.

Btw, I do not know, at this point of time, which cell group I am going to transfer to. Anyway, I would like to meet all of you again when it is possible. =)

This are my personal dedications to both E18 and E357. Find your names... =))

E18

Sister Meiyan- Thank you for your help. Under your leadership and discipleship, I have grown much in God. I've been through many hardships in my family, spiritual and personal life and it is through your counselling that I have overcomed this problems.

Carrie- You wanted the 'No Longer I' CD but I didn't have the chance to give it to you. I'm so so so sorry... I'll find a chance to give it to you one of these days ok? Still remembered you asking me whether I was sick... thanks for your concern. Thanks for your help as well all this while.

Cecilia- Though I may still see you everyweek during JAMs church and you are living just a few blocks away from me, it is different now. But I really wanna thank you for the advices you have given me so that I can improve in certain areas of my life. Remember the time we were baking cookies together? I would miss those times.

Chee Wee- Remember when I went to Tanah Merah just to give you the form? Forget about the free lunch you wanted to give me. Haha. Oh! I'll return you the book and the conference cds asap! Your cheerfulness and your smile really brightens up my day each time I see you. Thanks for being the cell group guitarist! Would miss those times you were playing the guitar... Thanks for your help in the cell group.

Jin Hui- Remembered the time when we talked about the Emerge Preaching Challenge. Still remembered that you took the trouble to call me to tell me about the challenge, but really sorry that I dropped my chance. Everytime I talk to you, I would feel that I will have learnt something new. And also thanks for being the cell group teacher, so whenever we have problems with schoolwork we would ask you. And thanks for your help all these while.

John Cheo- Friendly guy! Haha. And also very helpful as well. Your jokes are really... haha... But you are strong in your spiritual life and that's good. Thanks for all your concern all these while.

John Paul- Didn't know why we connected so well. From the first time I met you till now, we have become close friends. Buddies? Haha. I still remember when you always ask me to help you buy bread when going to church that time. And also your constant jokes. But what's more important is that you made a special impact in my life. You may not know, but you did. ;)

Jonathan- Got to know you more last year when I went for a make-up service with you. I also recalled attending one session of CIC with you. Haha. Thanks for your constant support in the cell group.

Julian- You just came so I didn't really get to know you well. But you're a nice person and really friendly too. Thanks for your support in the cell group.

Kong Wei- Di di! Haha. Though you're physically younger than me, but spiritually, you're older. Haha. Will miss you alot. And also the Planetshakers DVD. I'm giving it to you. =) And thanks for your support in the cell group as well.

Stephen- Haha. Ni hao mah? Still remembered your craze for Singapore Idol and I went to queue for an autograph with Taufik and Sly at Bedok. Haha. Focus on your interest in music and keep growing in God. I'll support you! And thanks for your support in the cell group.

Valerie- "Send me songs" Everytime when you login to MSN you will tell me that. Hahaha. And also study hours. Everytime I didn't meet need to explain to you why. Haha. Thanks for your support in cell group anyways.

Ying Giet- Hi! Haha. One of the persons I often talked to. Gonna miss you lots leh. And especially saying hi to you alot of times. You're very patient and that's good. Can listen to my lame jokes. Haha. Joking. Thanks for your support in cell group!

E357

Sis Xiaoting- From the time when you introduced to me a Bible to buy (the first time I stepped into church) to the time you rose up as a CGL, haha... it has really been quite a long time. Let your passion for revival in China burn as strongly as nvr before. Thanks for your help!

Yiwen- Hardly talked to you leh. Haha. But you still made a difference in my life by being my cg member. =)) Thanks!

Ying2- You seem quiet on the outside but acty your very crappy. Haha. See your blog can liao. Update more often lehs... Haha. Thanks!

Yulan- Also hardly talk to you one. But you really friendly lahs. Always with AHS people. Lol. Then so clever go IP (15=JC1?) Anyway, thanks!

Jasper- My cousin! Haha. Without you bringing me to church on Easter Saturday 2004, I will never be saved. Thanks so much!

Chee Siang- Recently than start talking to you alot. LOL. Sorry arh, keep forgetting to call you when you reach Eunos. Anyway, thanks!

Peter- Thanks for following me up after being saved. You have been a guide for me to walk through the beginning journey of my adventure with God. Through your lame but clean jokes and your advices, I guess I became better? LOL. Thanks!

Guixiong- My elder brother! Haha. You still owe me a blog design leh. Anyway, must rmb to wake up on Sunday! You late on schoolday nvm =)). But nvr on Sunday! LOL. Anyway, thanks so much!

Samuel- Same school as me. Lol. I started opening up in cg after you all came, cos before that no one was from my school. Thank God for you. =))

Weiming- You have grown much in God and that's good. =)) Your very quiet leh. Must talk more. Anyway thanks!

Maggie- Now I don't know what cg you are in... LOL... e357 bah... Anyway from the first time I met you, you are really friendly and helpful. Remember when we studied at Changi airport than you "confiscated" my mobile phone. LOL... Anyway thanks so much! See you at school...

Sharon- My SJAB and Prefectorial Board senior! Haha. Thank God you're saved. See you more often. Thanks!

Benjamin- My PB senior (somemore i taking over his department wors). Always ask me send you songs but you also send me lahs. LOL. Take care k. Thanks!

No matter what happens, I know that God is with me.

Jesus Christ- No matter what happens, You will always be with me. No matter what. It's time to begin a whole new adventure with You and to walk into the Way. Thank You Jesus.

It's time to start anew. Thank all of you for your support. God bless!

Regards,

Ashley

PS: IF I MISS OUT YOUR NAME, PLEASE TELL ME... APOLOGISE IN ADVANCE

put the past behind and starting afresh...

2005-05-24T18:15:00.000+08:00

Many things happened in the past 2 weeks.
Too much that I cannot bear.
I seem to lost all my feelings when I heard all these things.
Not even sad nor angry. Just neutral. Too shocked to hear these things.
It seems that everything is pouncing on me at the same time.
I had to admit that it was totally my fault when it wasn't and had to accept the full consequence.

I don't wanna mention names or tell you all what happened.
It's totally personal. Very personal in fact.
When you all get to hear the news from other people, please don't even try to get a single information out of me. But thanks in advance for your concern.

Just felt that God is telling me to put the past behind and start afresh.
Shall do that.

Let God decide.

Thank You for the chance to live again,
for Your grace that never ends.

The Church of the Future

2005-05-23T12:42:00.000+08:00

Wow! Pastor Kong's message was fantastic!
He talked about the 7 pillars of society:
Family, Religion, Business, Education, Government, The Arts and Media

So far, most churches has only been able to penetrate through family (marriages, funerals, Sunday school, family consuelling) and religion (of course, Christianity is a religion). Many have not been making a chance to penetrate through the Business, Education, Government, The Arts and Media pillars of society. These 5 pillars are commonly known as 'the marketplace'.

The Church, so far, have been making disciples but not discipling nations. We need to change societies and nations! The great commission is to "go therefore and make disciples of all NATIONS..." and not individuals. Now we need to do so by penetrating into the marketplace.

Is it possible? Look at CEOs and the politicians. One word from them and many lives are affected.

In the 1990s, it was a decade of EVANGELISM
In 2001, they changed to TRANSFORMATION.

Look at Jesus, he was more of a businessman than a professional preacher.
He was a carpenter for 20 years. In the Bible times, a carpenter was a generic name for 'builder'. Jesus also used everyday business language. In His parables, he talked about managing and investing money (the parable of the talents [talents= hebrew currency in Bible times]), wine-making, employing people (the parable of the workers in the vineyard).
Furthermore, the 12 disciples were all professionals from the marketplace (e.g. Luke was a medical doctor)

Jesus, a friend of the poor, had no problem moving in the high societies. He was invited to wedding banquets and other events.

All of us is an annointed member, a powerful minister. The early Church strated growing when the focus was on the marketplace. Paul used the businessplace to build a contemporary church, and the whole region experienced total transformation. (Acts 19)

In Indonesia, revival was experienced. It has the 4th largest population, 10% Christians but more like 30%. Many businesses and hotel chains are owned by contemporary, born-again believer. Morever, many of them (the owners) are founders/senior pastor, ordained pastor, associate pastor, assistant pastor in their own churches. Wow!

LET US BE A CHURCH OF THE FUTURE.
WE NEED TO REACH OUT TO HOLLYWOOD, MTV AND THE MARKETPLACE.
The Church of the Future = Modern, Contemporary, In touch with the world
A church dosent have to be so backdated, singing songs nobody sings, and pastors preaching messages that dosent have any effect on their member's lives.
This is the time for TRANSFORMATION

it dosen't matter

2005-05-20T23:55:00.000+08:00

"You mean everything to me
You're all this world could never bring
Your name reigns in my heart
You're all that I depend on"

Jesus is all that I depend on. He is all that I trust.
It dosen't matter if the world is against me.
Whether I have problems that can persecute me.
I know that He is there. He is everything to me.

Cos Jesus is not the first priority in my life,
He is my only priority.

I will crucify my flesh,
along with the problems of the world,
on the Cross.
Together with Him.
My spirit shall reign with Him,
like how He reigns in my heart.
The spirits of temptations shall get out of my life.
For they have no right to be in me.
For Christ lives in me.

It dosen't matter anymore.
Whatever problems I come across.
Whatever persecutions I face.
I'll just put on a smile and say,
"Christ is with me".

To feel His presence in my life.
To be a blessing to others.
Let me flow with the river of the Holy Spirit.
With peace and tranquality.
Cos You calm the raging seas and storms in my life.

Because I have been crucificed with Christ,
I NO LONGER LIVE BECAUSE
CHRIST LIVES IN ME!

Messed Up...

2005-05-20T01:08:00.000+08:00

Life's feeling so messed up now.

MSN messenger not working. No communication today. So boring...

Feeling so sick. Went to see doctor. Perhaps God is trying to console me... the doctor is a Christian that helps in mission work frequently. So we chatted about stuff. That really brightened up my life. Anyway, not going school tmr. Note to shiyong: I'm not going for cross country so change the person i/c of checkpoint 1.

Spiritual life... some days feel the fire of God burning in me... some days don't even feel like praying or worshipping God. i jus force myself to pray and don't feel his presence on those days. what's the point of doing so then?

Can't go Emerge Preaching... i forgoed my chance because i'm sick and i am feeling weak. like wad sis meiyan say, i should take a good rest at home cos there's no point travelling so long to YMCA for that 3 minutes when i'm sick. Feel I let the cell group down. I let God down. I let myself down. I spent 3 weeks preparing the sermon outline but yet I cannot go... Hard work gone down the drain. But like what pastor preached, just thank God that He is still with me through all these.

Exam results... passed 2 only and failed the rest... am i really that bad? i dun wanna hv meet the parents session... i'll get killed for sure... not literally but physically... my mom's depression attack will work up again and i don't think u all noe wad will happen when ur mom takes a knife and tries to stab u... God help me... It may seem to my friends as if I don't care at all when I saw the results slip, but I'm freaking worried now... Anyway thanks to some pple esp victor for trying to console me... just dun wanna get my results... dun wanna get my report book... i noe its just the mid-point, but my parents wont understand... they'll think its the end of the line... haiz...

Wonder what's happening to me now?
Is God testing me?

Exams!!!

2005-05-10T23:33:00.000+08:00

Yay! 2 more days till exams are over!
This exam has been a rough ocean for me.
Alot of difficulties faced.
But have faith I will still pass. Haha. Yup, faith.

Oh ya speaking of faith, that's the topic for the preliminary round
of Emerge Conference! Woohoo! Cool right?
Praise God!
And also pray that nothing clashes within 6-9 June.
No CCA, no camps... Nothing.
And my parents will allow me to attend the full conference.
FAITH!!!

Yups...

Breaking down... =((

2005-05-05T19:11:00.000+08:00

Stress! Exam stress, to be more exact.
I look very different these few days.
Guess this answers questions to all those who asked what happened to me.
But to those who asked me not to be stressed out,
how?

Wish that time could reverse.
Wish that I could take EMaths Paper 1 again.
10/50 for Paper 1 is not good! In fact, its worser than worse!
How can I get A2 for EMaths?

With this to discourage me. (Why must the papers be marked so early)
How confident can I be with one full week of exams ahead of me?
Can I get A1s, A2s and B3s for my subjects?

Couldn't take it. Sort of cried during Chinese period.
Just SO stressed out. AAAAAH!
Then when I went home, slept for 4 hours. Just so tired.

I regret not revising in depth for my exams.
I regret slacking.
But it's too late to regret now.

By God's grace,
I am able to do it.
Like what my kor said,
Dun let a small barrier overcome me so much.

God give me strength, determination and a good memory.

2005-05-02T23:55:00.000+08:00

Exam is coming very, very soon again!
Haiz... there goes my free time.
But need to glorify Him, and achieve my goal of getting B3 and above for all subjects.
Mug. Mug. Mug.

Nothing is impossible with God.
My new motto in life.
Cool right?
Haha.

Service last Sunday was great!
Not just inspired me. But changed me inside out.
I don't want to be just a believer of Christ or a member of a church.
I want to be a disciple of Christ. 101% committed to Him.
I know my life will not be the same.
It will not be easier. It will not be a straight road full of blessings.
It will be a messy road full of trials and testings.
But I know I'll get through with Him.
Nothing is impossible with God.

Oh yea. One last thing.
I am offically a JAMs service worker! Woohoo!
Interviewed with Santhi last Sunday.
Will balance church, cell group, ministry, studies, family and friends.
Cos nothing is impossible with God. =))

Ok. Got to sleep now. Bye!

2005-04-28T22:46:00.000+08:00

Take my world apart
I need You
I am on my knees
I love You
Take my world apart
Broken on my knees

Why?

2005-04-27T22:27:00.000+08:00

Disclaimer: Just ranting out something.
I will not take any form of responsibility,
if the persons mentioned here decides to reads the entry.
Btw, Singapore practices FREEDOM of speech. So I get the right to get my opinion.
Since I am the one affected.
Thank you.

Don't know why my teacher is treating me like that.
What did I do to offend her?
Got first for test in her class. She not happy.
Helped her out in speech day. She not happy.

Oral reading.
Listen to her insults on something that couldn't be corrected easily.
At least I can read right.
Maybe should tell Mdm Fauziah.
She told me last year to tell her if any teacher touched on that reading problem of mine.

When I got back my results.
She didn't say anything to me.
Except,
Bend down and pick up the paper for me.
Then when she read out the marks and said that I got first.
Couldn't see any smile on her face.
Could see some form of unhappiness.

Guess she wants someone to get first.
Praises him for oral reading. Insults me like hell.
So what if that person speaks with an American accent?
So what if that person dosen't use Singlish?
So what if that person sucks up to teachers?
I know I don't 1) speak with an American accent, 2) use Singlish and 3) suck up to teachers.
But I deserve some respect:
Respect as a student and a servant.
Respect as a person and not a slave.

Didn't pick up litter somewhere outside the class cos I didn't notice it.
Got called out in front of class first thing in the morning.
Then embarassed me in front of everyone.
Next time I shall bring a magnifying glass ok?

Then today English lesson grouped me with that person.
While the rest got grouped with their close friends.
Unfair.
Can see the smirk on her face.
Then now I gotta write the whole assignment by myself.

Hey. I don't deserve this!

2005-04-26T21:47:00.000+08:00

When the world can't stand around me,
To You I still hold on...

Thank You Lord

2005-04-24T01:19:00.000+08:00

This is a poem I composed. Dedicated to Someone that is bigger than the universe, yet closer to my heart than anything else.

When I am down,
You picked me up,
from sin and shame,
from life's problems.

When I am down,
You draw close to me,
let me feel Your presence,
let me run to You.

When I am down,
I cried in Your presence,
You collected these tears in containers,
and stored them in heaven.

When I am down,
You hold me into Your arms,
and my soul delights,
for I know You heard my prayer.

When I am down,
I know that I have You,
bigger than the universe,
closer to me than anything else.

When I am down,
I will praise You no matter what,
and I would like to tell you,
thank You Lord!

Diahorrea! =((

2005-04-24T01:02:00.000+08:00

Had diahorrea today. Can die. =((
Went to the toilet like for 4, 5 times a day.
Took medicine liao.
Now feeling much better.

Remember to pray for me k?

Feeling better

2005-04-21T13:38:00.000+08:00

In school now...
Having food and nutrition lesson now... last 5 minutes =))
Managed to chase Daryl off by suaning him....
Oops he sort of came back again.
So sad hor...
Haha. =))

I am feeling better now la. Thanks for your concern.
Psalm 30 and 32 really changed my heart.
Thank God.

Today school quite sian. Nothing to do one.
Slack slack slack.
Then slack till exam. Fail. Haiz...
Always the case.
Must start studying le...

Teacher coming... Oops
Gtg le... bye
=))

When can I let go And just cry?

2005-04-20T20:39:00.000+08:00

Haiz... mood swing today. Major one in fact.

First thing. Some people are treating me like I owe them a million dollars. Look I'm not showing off here or demanding any pity, but after everything I done for these people, helped this people? Then I become their dog? They thank other people for their help instead. I don't demand acknowledgment, but I just hope they know where their limits are.

Why is it when other people cry, people comfort? Why is it when I cry, people insult me more?

Second thing. Everyone has their own weakness, both physically and mentally. Why does my chemistry teacher need to say my weakness out to another class? I know she wants to illustrate an example, but its infringing my privacy and ruining my self confidence. Furthermore, she did not even ask or tell me! It's like, I'm still studying in the school! And with one more year! If everyone knows, furthermore a class I am in charge of, how can I have the face to face the people?

I have enough of people suaning people. Hey look! You overlook my weakness and I'll overlook yours. Why isit everyone laughs when someone gets insulted and yet when that person gets insulted, he or she gets angry. I know he or she may be laughing with you on the outside, but you know what is on the inside?

Even my cell group. Last time on the MRT train. There are people there. I know you all wanted to make a joke, but at the EXPENSE OF OTHER PEOPLE? There were many people looking at me after you all said that and made me very embarassed. What did pastor Kong say? What did the Bible say? I could not record anything from the Bible about Jesus in His ministry, insulted other people's weaknesses.

Respect. I don't demand high respect. Just the respect as friends. I am seriously not your servant. I am seriously not an open topic for people to insult about.

The Bible tells me to FORGIVE and FORGET. I shall.

Life is...

2005-04-18T22:18:00.000+08:00

Haha. Seems like a long time since I last updated. Life has been pretty much the same lor. I'm as lame as usual, but revealing my true self more and getting rid of my "psuedo" self, or fake self.

I'm still struggling with maths!!! Especially when the teacher is going too fast and rushing due to syllabus. It takes weeks for me to absorb concepts for one chapter. Yup, that is how slow I am in maths. Sigh...

Exams coming in two and a half weeks! Really fast lor... Hopefully can get my target of getting at least B3 and above for all my subs, including maths. I will not be discouraged by my term assessment results. =)) Have faith...

Oh ya, today is my church's live recording rehearsal for our once in 5 years Live! worship album. Woohoo! I want to go! Boohoo... But I still can be involved by praying and worshipping God at home, right Pastor Zhuang? I have a feeling that it's gonna be a great worship album...

The new MSN 7 rocks socks... and ya, I'm signing off soon (bear with me)... Got better features. Go download (note to Yingiet): http://messenger.msn.com.sg!

Yup, that's all... So hopefully can have time to update soon... Cya!

Impact

2005-04-10T23:16:00.000+08:00

12 simple words that can change your life. Go to the world and preach the Gospel to every creature. The Great Commission according to the Amplified Bible. In the New King James Bible, "Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptising them in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit." This is the basis of Christianity, to go out into the harvest fields and save the lost. And make not only believers, but disciples, of all nations. Praise God!

Extravagant. Worship.

2005-04-06T21:08:00.000+08:00

"Lost in You alone,
is where I wanna be."

This verse from a song by City Harvest has alot of meaning behind it. Truly where I want to be is to be lost in His presence, to enter into the Holy of Holies. To have extravagant worship, the term Darlene Zschech termed in her book. Worship beyond limits. Worship to the Most High God, creator of the universe.

Many bad things happen in my life,in school, family and even with my cell group. They are imperfect people and I'm sure many bad things happen to them too. I pour out everything to Him, trust Him for who He is and come out refreshed, renewed and strengthened. Scientific research shows that Christians actually live a few more years than non-Christians as we have someone to pour out our sorrows to. Praise God for that.

"I love You, I love You, I love You,
and my heart will follow wholly after You."

2005-04-03T22:38:00.000+08:00

Yoz! Sorry for not updating.... Been rather busy with school stuff. Haha. Passed 2 pathetic subjects for term test. Thank God I still can go to church and cell. Haiz... Gotta study more le. Tomorrow school again. Sianzzz...

Just to lighten things up. My church is gonna have a live praise and worship album! Recording is on 13-14 April and the CD is gonna be released in July. Praise God after a five year wait. Haha.

2005-03-26T08:37:00.000+08:00

It's Easter Saturday!
One year ago, I rededicated my life back to Christ on this day. This day means so much to me. And today, thousands more will have their lives changed at the Singapore Indoor Stadium. One year with City Harvest has completely changed my life. I made meaningful friendships and changed my attitude for the better. There were many ups and downs but it served to make my life better.

2005-03-20T22:35:00.000+08:00

How great is my Creator God and Daddy? Very. Even greater that the universe itself. Ever since the presence of God hit me during the Benny Hinn Healing Crusade (more to come later, patient k?), the power of healing just hit me so strongly. But it isn't me who healed my friends of sicknesses and diseases, its God. This are all the miracles of God, not my miracles. When I pray that prayer of healing, I can't even believe I am saying these words!

Now, the Benny Hinn Healing Crusade in Singapore Indoor Stadium. Went last friday, but couldn't get in. But it's okay, spent time fellowshipping with cg members. Played chao ji mi ma in Macs and the person who guessed the correct number has to eat fries dipped in a disgusting blend of sauces, courtesy of MacDonalds. Haha.

Next day went there again. Could get in. And got very good seats! Praise the Lord for that. The presence of God was so strong. So strong that the 6,000 strong choir was just annointed and fell with the power of God. In fact, the whole church was annointed and fell as pastor Benny went from the choir, to the centre, to the east and to the west (where we are in). I felt so much peace in my heart. Its like every worry is taken away from you and your Daddy is embracing you in His loving arms. First time I cried non-stop. So much power. So much presence. God is good.

Then went for the service after that. Its the same. But the presence wasn't as strong as the one before that. The presence is just moving along slowly during that service, but enough to get people healed. The choir broke out into holy laughter. It was powerful.

Let me end off here. It's not Benny Hinn who is doing these miracles. It is God working through Benny Hinn. Praise God.

2005-03-18T20:00:00.000+08:00

I'm back. Haha. I almost forgotten I had a blog. [Gasps...]

Been surprisingly busy during the holidays. I thought I had nothing to do at first, but I seem busier than ever before. Going home late. Next time got to be more early. =) Busy listening to my kor suaning me. Will continue acting stupid.

1 1/2 day of camp. Even more sian. Then the training like what like that. The logistics suck big time. Food late, portions small. Got to do more next time. Next time shall order from Tampines area one.

Got a new laptop! Yay! But have to give my other com to my sister. Then this one cannot really play games. Boohoo. But got WiFi and Bluetooth. Which is good. Hehe.

Improve!

2005-03-08T21:16:00.000+08:00

Gotta improve my maths before its too late. Pathetic score for the Term Test paper. Don't ask how much I got. I'm no pro im Maths, contradictory to what people think. My maths teacher even thinks I am a sure failure. But I don't think so. If the blind can see and the lame can walk, I can do it. My Daddy is great. He is the Creator of all and the Provider of all. In fact, I think I got to improve my studies overall. My goal for the O's is to get B3 and above for all my subjects. I want to go to a good polytechnic with a Diploma in Consuelling.

Praying to my Daddy that I can manage church, cell group, ministry and studies. That nothing will stop me from going to church or cell group and that nothing will stop me from getting good grades.

Been getting frequent mood changes (not mood swings). Sometimes I'll feel anti-social, sometimes hyper and sometimes moody. Hopefully this can change. And the devil will stop tempting me.

Down

2005-03-01T20:25:00.000+08:00

These few days are the one of the downsides in my life. God save me.

Powerful Service!

2005-02-20T22:33:00.000+08:00

Wow! Today's sermon is simply impactful! Pastor Kong is really an annointed man of God. Today we learnt about how God moulds your character.

Pastor Kong uses the different steps of moulding clay to form a tall jar to illustrate this example. The different steps refers to the fact that growing spiritually does not have a shortcut and it is a gradual thing. When you mould clay, you need to spin it round. This shows the routine you do as you grow spiritually: cell group, church, quiet time, school/work. God is putting you through a routine to discipline you.

To lose faith halfway is like an-almost complete jar with an undiscovered pebble in it. The jar breaks and is destroyed. The undiscovered pebble refers to your weaknesses. We got to change our weaknesses. Praise God!

Testimony

2005-02-17T22:07:00.000+08:00

This is a powerful testimony from Sue Ling from E7, City Harvest Malaysia:

I come from a family that does not give emphasis on religion. Religion did not play an important role in my life until the day I got saved. I was saved when I was 14. It wasn’t the pastor’s speech which ministered nor was it the music that touched me. It was a stir in my heart that day, when I attended church to celebrate New Year’s Eve. The stir in my heart was so strong that I just had to raise my hand to accept Christ as my personal Lord and Savior. I learnt through the years that it was the touch of God.

My parents, when they found out, forbade me from attending church. I was a little discouraged yet I prayed. Not knowing how to pray, I talked to God like a friend and ending it with an “Amen”. I kept on praying that God would open my parent’s heart so that I would be able to attend church. I was praying for their salvation at the same time. A year later, my mother allowed me to attend church after my PMR. She told not to get too involved. I continued praying for their salvation. Year after year, nothing happened. I kept on persevering and I served God at the same time in the worship ministry. I kept on having faith and believing that they would one day come to know Christ as their personal Lord and Savior.

In the beginning of this year, I felt the urgency to bring my mother to church. I kept on asking her to attend church. She still said no. I didn’t know why but I just had the utmost urgency to share the gospel to her. I told her about Jesus and her friends did give her some Christian books to read. This year, in the middle of April, my mother was diagnosed with leukemia. My mother accepted Christ when she was in the hospital. I still remember the day she accepted Christ as her Lord and Savior. She was so strong. She was no longer afraid of death, and not even afraid of leaving me as we were very close. Before she passed away, she even told my father that she was a Christian now and to make sure that everyone knew that. My dad was very supportive. He told our whole family that my mother’s a Christian now and she wants a Christian burial. I could see God’s work in the midst of this situation. I sensed Him lifting and delivering my mother, my father and me through the whole situation. The day my mother passed away, two weeks after she was diagnosed, I could feel God telling me that He wanted my mother in heaven with Him. He spoke to me so clearly. People are amazed at how strong I am with dealing with my mother’s death. But it is not my strength but God’s strength that carries me through every single day. I believe there is nothing to be sad about as she is with my Lord and Savior and I will definitely see her again one day. I am still keeping to the faith until today that my whole household will get saved. My father is now more open to Christianity and I am constantly praying for his salvation.

My ambition has always been to take up medicine. After my mother was diagnosed, the ambition grew stronger. Yet, my application was denied in the local university and my application to the private university was late. To some, it might be too much to take, my mother’s passing away, not able to get into a university, etc, but I believe it is part of God’s wonderful plan. If I had gone in to university earlier, I wouldn’t have attended City Harvest Church. The first day I attended CHC, it was for a prayer meeting for our nation. I really felt God’s presence there. I felt His peace. I knew in my heart this is the church where I have been destined to grow in, to serve with all my heart, my entire mind and all my strength. I will continue walking with my Lord every day of my life; for I know He carries me through the storms of life.

Admitted

2005-02-15T19:43:00.000+08:00

Yes I admitted.
At least I admitted. But I shall not want to go any further in the relationship.
I wonder why I am so stupid to do so. Guess she also felt the same way.
God help me!
I don't even have the courage to talk to her or call her now.
It's the same between my close friends. Both of them don't wanna tok to each other.
However, my priorities were set straight. Now is not the time yet.
Sorry.

My blog is rather dark now. That is my mind. Yup. What is happening to me now reflects here. This blog.

2005-02-14T22:56:00.000+08:00

Happy Valentine's Day!

It's been a long time and I'm back! Woohoo! Been rather busy and sick (nahh, not love sick) these past weeks, so got no time to update. Didn't go to school today because I was sick! OMG! I missed out valentine's day right? Haha.

Bugged my mom today to buy the Linkin Park + Jay-Z CD (Collision Course) because 1) i am broke and 2) its NC-16 so I can't buy! Woohoo! My blog tells you that I love Numb/Encore alot.
I have decided to get the Sony Ericsson K700i, got camera, 41 MB memory and MP3. Looks good. Sounds good too. Haha.

Tomorrow gotta go school again. Seems sian. Haha.

2005-02-04T23:40:00.000+08:00

Long day at school today. Boohoo.
Been really very busy these few days. Which explains why I didn't update my blog so often.

Let out my secret to Qinghui and Derrick. So malu now. But since she told me hers, then no choice lor. Then during Chinese period saw her, then Qinghui keep on teasing me. Boohoo.

Should I follow my kor's advice and just admit to her, and remain good friends? I really don't wanna like anyone now, since my main focus shouldn't be and isn't on this. I'm too romantic liao. Must cut down. Now back to main topic.

After that, our class got fair grade by the SS/Hist teacher. I think she also has an attitude problem. We didn't make so much noise but she exploded like a bomb, scolding the whole class like we did something very very wrong like that. Then class stay back after school, dm talk for 30 minutes and that teacher was like SMIRKING all the way. Reminds me of that Snape guy from Harry Potter. Haha.

Anyway after that got SJAB. Shan't go onto this.

Pardon me for my bad english.

2005-02-02T20:54:00.000+08:00

Hmmmm...
Many things happened this week. Mostly bad.
To other people. And to me as well.

I don't know what has got into many people.
They're all, like, so gloomy and having a mood swing.
Can feel a gloomy aura surrounding them.
Hope their problems can be solved.
If you need any help, find me. I'll be more than happy to help.

As for me. Haiz...
Been struggling with the logistics stuff for the sec 2 prefects' camp.
Had to source for food and catering companies.
The recent calculation of the total came out to $361.40.
It's expensive. I think its over budget. Although I still haven't receive any budget yet.
And I don't even know whether that catering company for day 1 dinner is Halal or non-Halal.
I hope it is. If not, search begins again.
I want food that is cheap but is still delicious. Really hard to find.

But with one week left (excluding Chinese New Year)?
I'm stressed!

2005-01-30T23:13:00.000+08:00

Been rather tired and sloppy these few days, but today's service totally refreshed me inside out! Hallelujah! We learnt about the 4 Directions of Faith: Height (Have Faith in God), Depth (Have Faith in Yourself), Width (Have Faith in Others) and Length (Have Faith in Your Future). We also learnt about slaying the giants in our lives (giants blocking us from success in studies, work and other things in life). This lyrics from "I'm on Fire" is very meaningful:

Ain't no giant gonna walk on my land
Ain't no city that can't be saved

After the preaching, Pastor Kong led us to a powerful prayer. Yes, we are going to be world shakers and giant slayers! We are going to be bigger than the giants themselves. Why? Because our God is bigger than the universe!

I'm on FIRE, I got the Holy Ghost on ME!!!

2005-01-27T20:12:00.000+08:00

Many things happened the past few days. This particular one made me treasure my friendships even more. I was very surprised by what happened, but I shall not tell you what happened. Confidential. hehe. Although, to be frank, I don't really like what is going on, it's the private lives of people so I cannot have control over it. Just let them be. Haiz...

Refreshed!

2005-01-24T21:33:00.000+08:00

Was reading Albert's blog. Felt so refreshed after reading his blog. What a great change from reading other blogs. His blog is not on personal stuff but more on stuff about God. Great stuff! Haha.

Had a rather tiring and draggy day in school today. English teacher didn't come. So 3 periods taken up by relief teachers. Sister XT! When will you come for relief teaching? Haha. Then the rest is just boring. Chinese teacher loves to pick on prefects. Next time during her class I shall take off my badge. Haha. Lame.

Went with Boonsoom and the rest to CC to eat. Nothing much happened. But I'm still tired.

2005-01-22T01:46:00.000+08:00

3 days never update le wor... Haha. I've been quite busy with school stuff and meetings. The last prefect's meeting for the Sec 2 camp is about 3 hours. Which is really long. But for the sec 2 prefects reading this, I won't be able to release anything about the camp to you. Sorry. By the way, anyone of you can introduce cheap food catering companies in Tampines? Haha...

Today (cos its already Saturday) will be the first day of cell group meeting with E18 members only. Sigh. I'm gonna miss the E357 members alot. But praise God, we're still sitting together on Sunday!

This weekend also going to get the City Harvest journal. I'm abit excited. Cos I'm a rather (ahem) organised person but my Zire (palmtop) broke down on me so having a journal will be a rather fresh change for me.

I am trying to change class, from the F&N class I am in to the POA class. I hope it can be approved. Because I cant understand the concepts for physics and geography. Which the POA class isn't taking. And I'm interested in literature, which the POA class has but the F&N class dosen't. Haha. Confusing?

And a note to Qing Hui: really sorry that we pang-seh(ed) you yesterday morning. I really had something on the whole day.

That's all ba. See you all soon. Bye...

2005-01-18T22:06:00.000+08:00

You need to have faith the size of a mustard seed. Yes, its that little seed.
Why?

Jesus said, "The Kingdom of Heaven is like a mustard seed planted in a field. It is the smallest of all seeds, but it becomes the largest of garden plants and grows into a tree where birds can come and find shelter in its branches." (Matthew 13:31-35 NLT)

Begin to build up your faith, starting from the mustard seed and it will gradually grow to become the largest of garden plants. That is what faith is.

But it's not easy. To have that small amount of faith requires a great amount of discipline. Build up on it now.

2005-01-18T16:44:00.000+08:00

Nothing much happened this week. How boring. And school seems to be a drag. Getting even more boring each day. Especially Social Studies and Social History. The teacher drags on and on. Where's the "Teach Less, Learn More" method they used in the first two weeks? Boohoo.

Went out with Derrick, Qing Hui and Shiyong yesterday to buy Esmonde's present. We decided to call the soft toy dog "Cheese". How lame. Haha.

My spectacles spoilt today! Boohoo. How sad. Maybe I should get contacts. Yup, I should. Haha.

2005-01-16T15:31:00.000+08:00

At church cafe now.
Church got cafe? Somemore cyber-cafe? Yup!
Crappy entry.

Ok. I have not updated for about 3 days. I know its long but you all wouldn't want to tag at my blog right? Haha. Joking.

Hey I got $0.36/10 mins left. Crap.

Ying ying and Cecilia is looking at me typing now. Someone from Chinese Bible Study class mistook Ying for her daughter. How lame. -.-"

2005-01-13T20:58:00.000+08:00

HALLOWED BE YOUR NAME

HALLOWED BE YOUR NAME
HALLOWED BE YOUR NAME
HALLOWED BE YOUR NAME
LORD AND MAJESTY,
DIVINE AUTHORITY
HALLOWED BE YOUR NAME

HOLY, HOLY, LORD YOU'RE WORTHY
AND I'M HONORED TO SING YOUR PRAISE
KING OF GLORY, GOD ALMIGHTY
HALLOWED BE YOUR NAME

ALL CREATION, EVERY NATION
HAS ITS BEING BY YOUR WORD
AS IT IS DONE, UP IN HEAVEN
LET IT BE DONE HERE ON EARTH
LET IT BE DONE HERE ON EARTH

Bored. To Death.

2005-01-12T20:47:00.000+08:00

I'm seriously bored to death. Really bored.
Haha. I don't understand what the teacher is teaching in Geography or Physics. I can't even do a simple Physics experiment like measuring the angle of reflection (whatever that is). Revision gotta start soon. Stupid me.

Oh. I gotta change my handphone soon. My kepad is like spoilt. I can't press '2' or '5'. Pathetic device. Haha. I'm planning to change to the Nokia 6170. And changing to the Suntalk Text plan (1000 free sms and 120 mins free talktime with free incoming calls). Worth it? I hope so. Hahaha.

To all those people in PB room at that time: I know I was ranting about companionship. But I'm not desperate. Time shall tell. Let's wait k.

Oh, and I was hyper during physics just now. Which you'll hardly see me being hyper. Haha. For those who experienced my lame jokes, consider yourself lucky. Haha.

Haha. Am I thinking too much again?

2005-01-11T18:19:00.000+08:00

Haha. Am I thinking too much again? I think so.
So let's just get on with fufiling my resolution of changing my attitude this year.
And leave my entries filled with my thinking in my private blog (ahem).

School was rather fun today. Especially Geography. Although I don't understand what the teachers were talking about. First time this year I laughed so much in school. Haha.

My geography teacher produced two packets of drinks and asked two volunteers to drink. When the drink packet were empty, there was this crumpling effect. This explained the effect of air pressure. Haha. Another way to explain was by blowing balloons. Which the person behind me blew and accidentally/purposely opened the gap, and the balloon fell beside my seat. Haha. That's lame.

2005-01-10T21:15:00.000+08:00

"Give us a heart of compassion,
for this world without vision."

Think this verse from the song "Making A Difference" is really meaningful. This world has become a conservative and class-minded society. People look down on each other. People cheat. Steal. Lie. For money and their own comfort. Boohoo.

After many times in JAMS church, I've finally realised what this verse meant. The more I encounter the intellectually disabled, the more I develop a heart filled with compassion. Sometimes I felt that I was going to cry. They are innocent kids, but many in the society shun them. Some even laughing at them or calling them "crazy".

Sometimes I wonder why most people, especially business executives, care so much about their personal lives, money or people in their classes, but often looking down on others. Many times I have been treated like someone lowly (I'm a student btw), all of them business executives. I may discriminate. But isn't that what many people do as well?

But there are still people who have hearts filled with compassion. Thank God. The recent tsunami disaster relief is a good example. Many people volunteer their time and effort to aid in relief teams or other tasks like packing and administration. The public also donated money and supplies. There are still people who are small-minded. Some donated boxing gloves or well-used lingerie. This isn't a junkyard for you to throw your things people!

The world must open their eyes and see what is happening to the less fortunate. Help them. Pray for them. It's the thought in the heart that counts.

I'm seriously tired...

2005-01-08T19:10:00.000+08:00

Here I am, at my cousin's house to celebrate her brother's birthday. Hahaha. Just now went out with JohnCheo, JohnPaul, Cheewee, Jasper and Peter to celebrate JC's bdae. JP and me shared a present. Sweet right? Acty supposed to watch movie one... but in the end slack out at Pastamania and Carrefour (metrosexual eh?)

I gtg le... Bye

2005-01-08T01:00:00.000+08:00

1 week of school finally ended! Praise God and its the weekends! Praise Him also for the 5-day work week, where Sat is totally free. Speaking of that, I had a terrible headache (migrane acting up again?) just now in the afternoon. And I'm very sway (too much of olinda cho's song) that the pple beside me are all sick! Boohoo. I got sick because of "lack of sleep" and this wasted the doc's time and more importantly, my money right? But need to get mc for SJAB. After a 5 hour sleep and (oops...) making my tuition teaccher wait for me for 2 hours... I'm okay already. LOL.

Later in the afternoon going out with cell group. Combined cell group outing. Lunch and movies, but main point is to get johncheo presents for his bdae. How I love going out with cell group, it benefits me spiritually and physically (sounds familiar, yiwen?)... Haha...

Sunday is SERVICE! Woohoo. So see you there. nite.

2005-01-06T22:03:00.000+08:00

School's getting boring and tougher. Haha. But I still need to buck up right? So must concentrate. The retain students are crapsters. Cool. Alot of people in this world are walking sideways except for someone who claims she's a lobster. How sad. Haha.

Tomorrow SJAB again. So sian. And I haven't even bought my rank badge yet, my certificate collecting dust le. Lucky tomorrow half-u, if not I'll feel malu. Haha. I simply hate foot drill. But a few more months we all can take over le. Hehe.

As you have noted, my England is very powderful today. (Literally: English is very poor) Haha. Because my mind is filled with things. Now got to do quiet time. Trying to clear my mind.

Haha.

Breaking free from School Blues... Haha

2005-01-04T20:26:00.000+08:00

The first day of school came and go. How sad. Haha. But at least this shows that time passes very quickly. New principal, new class and new subs. With a few retained students, most of them I know, is school going to be different from when I was in lower sec? Haha.

The new principal is totally changing the school. And she just talked to us today. Her principles are abit biblical, being a Christian. She introduced the biblical principles of "what you will reap you will sow" and "do unto other what you like others to do unto you".

Haha. I may have little time to blog now because I'm quite busy. Everything squeezed in a 5-day work week. Sian... But I still need to glorify Him in every area of my life right? Even in schoolwork. So I got to buck up le. Haha.

See you all soon. Bye.

At the Beginning

2005-01-02T21:42:00.000+08:00

School's gonna start tomorrow. Back to the old, boring routine again. Haha. But best of all is that its easier to reach out! I wish time could have passed even more quickly, that I will have already completed my o-levels. Haha.

I'm very tired today. Full day at church. Service, bible study, JAMS Ministry. Pastor Kong preached a powerful message on goal setting. Let's not just be S-M-A-R-T (Specific, Measurable, Action Plan, Realistic, Time Conscious) but be S-M-A-R-T-E-R (The E is for Expectation Management while the R is for Revelation). And the goal setting card for 2005 will definitely get me going for the year. Praise to be with God.

And for those who are anxious or scared about going back to school, facing a new class or anything, here's a song that tells us about life being a journey. It impacted many people. So here we go:

At the Beginning

We were strangers,
Starting out on a journey
Never dreaming
What we'd have to go through
Now here we are,
I'm suddenly standing
At the beginning with you
No one told me i was going to find you

Unexpected, what you did to my heart
When i lost hope, you were there to remind me
This is the start
And life is a road that i wanna keep going
Love is a river, i wanna keep flowing
Life is a road, now and forever,
wonderful journey

I'll be there when the world stops turning
I'll be there when the storm is through
In the end I wanna be standing
At the beginning with you

We were strangers on a crazy adventure
Never dreaming, how our dreams would come true
Now here we stand, unafraid of the future
At the beginning with you
And life is a road that i wanna keep going
Love is a river, i wanna keep flowing
Life is a road, now and forever, wonderful journey
I'll be there when the world stops turning
I'll be there when the storm is through
In the end i wanna be standing
At the beginning with you

A Fresh Start... Back on Track!

2005-01-01T01:47:00.000+08:00

First of all: I would like to wish everyone a Happy New Year 2005! Woohoo!

A new year symbolises a new beginning. A new beginning symbolises a brand new blog!
On count, this will be my... ummm... 4th blog!

Okok. Went out with cell group after cell group meeting. Were split into two: one grp playing soccer... the other watching movie. I chose to watch movie cos I'm tired... Haha. Then after that met again and went to Mac to countdown. We were abit high at Mac just now for countdown. We were like the only persons who were making so much noise. Everyone joined us for the countdown. Cool eh? Then CW led the new year prayer. Powerful start to 2005 eh? Then played the lame chop chilli game...

2005 is the Year to Get On Fire For Him even MORE!
I admit I was slacking abit in 2004. But in the new year, I shall get on fire for him even more!

Shall read the entire Bible by the end of the year.
Shall finish reading all 40 days of purpose-driven life.
Shall change my attitude to be more like Him.
Shall serve more in ministry and cell group.

Best of all, its 9 MORE YEARS before God's calling for me is fufilled! PTL!