Troubled =((

I am really troubled. Haiz...
Don't ask me why.
Have I become over-sensitive.
It seems I get upset over every single thing now.

Why have so much change after what happened?
God help me!

Potential

Potential is dormant ability, reserved power, untapped strength and capped capabilities.

- From "Potential" by Rev. Kong Hee

Was reading Mr Jae's blog, and this quote from pastor came into my mind almost immediately. No comments about what happened though, because I'm not in 3E3 and I don't know what happened...

Limits!

I'm totally stretched to my ultimate limit.
Physically, mentally and spiritually!
Aaaaah!

These few days my mood swings are becoming more and more frequent sia.
I've suddenly become so serious and easily agigated.
Should be the amount of stress piling up.
Haiz...

I can't cope with my studies.
Not say I cannot cope, but that level of attention isn't there anymore.
I can't study at home. But I must make a try to study. Determination.

Oh yea speaking of home, I find out I get tired now easily.
When I went home at about 6 plus today, I literally fainted.
Yes, fainted.

In church, I recently met my ex-cell group members.
I wanted to cry when I met them. Just so sad.
Many of them got a seriously wrong impression of what happened.
It's not about that, it's about something else.

But through all these, I know God is testing me.
His vision for me is higher than anyone else.
Through Christ, all things are possible.

God He Reigns, God He Reigns,

Holy is the Lord of Heaven

God He Reigns, God He Reigns,

Forevermore...

No CCA =((

CCA cancelled cos of O-level exams.
Stupid sia. I planned the whole night yesterday and this is what happened.
Haiz...

Unless can go out of school to conduct the CCA or even better, SJAB HQ. Haha.
I can feel that they are gonna enjoy it.
If they miss it today, it's back to the hectic schedule with Kevin and Hussani back next week.

=((

A New Me?

Some ex-cg members missed my lameness when fellowshipping with the cell group.
But I need to confess.
After what happened, everything in me changed.
I realised that I cannot take things with a light-hearted manner or else I will be prosecuted.
I need to take things very seriously.
See my attitude now. It's totally changed. No more the light-hearted me, I am stressed out. Totally stressed out. Sick and tired. Of life. Of everything!
Cos what happened is not entirely my fault. I only admitted that it was because I didn't wanna continue this.
I am sick and tired of these arguments and quarrels. They felt that it was better for me to leave so that it will not affect other cg members.
Sorry to my ex-cg members.
And great job to some who are trying to forget me. (I am not being sarcastic but I sincerely feel that it is what u should do)

Pastor Kong's recent messages are totally confusing me.
If it is right to follow a dream, then why is this happening?
I know that pple will try and stop me, but what if it is this group of people?
I am totally stuck.

I am so far away from Him now. I am so stale in fellowship.
When I go to church, I go alone. I am in the auditorium alone. In the cafe alone.
I cannot face up to my friends in ministry. They know that something is wrong.
Especially when I suddenly left. I just... I almost cried when I see people fellowshipping.
I got no support, no backbone in church now.

Join a new cg?
But after what happened, do u think it will be easy for me?
I am human. I got feelings.

That's all.

Regd,
ur ex-brother in cg

Busy!!!

Been extremely busy these past few weeks with LCDJ investiture and SJAB stuff.
Investitures like 3 or 4 days of rehearsals? SJAB now stress!!!
That's why I couldn't find time to update.
Haha. Sorry.
Like my new blog design and song?
Anyway the song's Untitled by Simple Plan.
Just feels that it symbolizes my life right now.

From Mr Jae's blog:
"I expect conflicts in the the council because everyone in the council is a natural leader. We are using the lion as our council logo and the lion is a leader and is courageous, not to mention bold. And when you put MANY lions together in the council, you would expect conflicts."
I am not ashamed to admit that I was in it too and
I felt it was really ridiculous to be involved in these conflicts.
The council should act as one united family.
Should really let go of my grudges.
Anyway thanks to Daryl, Aik Kun, Yan Ting and Hanis for listening to my rantings. Haha.

Anyway tomorrow's the BIG DAY! Woohoo.
Quite excited.
Anyway, after this, I will get back to studying and also church, something that I have been neglecting for a long time.
But I'm not ready to join a cell group yet, I want to just be personal with God for a while after that big blow. Maybe in one or two months time.

Anyway, my IT committee's out!
The people are me, Willy, Li Qiang, See Wee, Yan Ting, Daryl, Joceyln and Hui Jun.
10 weeks to complete the Council website.
I'll be working with the Media Club Production people too to get this website done and also for photography stuff.
Will inform them/ you all soon. =))

Gtg. Bye!