Leaving a Legacy, Making a Difference

Left cell group cos of reasons not within my control.
Parental objections from going to church.
Bad exam results.
Closest cousin migrated to Canada.
Sister's fever up to 39.3deg C.
Stress and more stress from Student Council and SJAB.
What more bad things can you expect that will happen to me?

It really affected me alot, spritually, mentally and physically.
All these things happened these just these past two weeks.
All at the same time.
I feel like I got no one supporting me now.
No cell group members that will constantly pray for each other in times of need.
No encouragement pray. No willpower to worship. No commitment anymore after I left the cell group.
What's happening to me? I don't want to backslide.
But with no one, no one at all to support me, to encourage me.
I can't feel His presence in my life anymore. I started walking, I stopped running.

I want all these to change.
But with all this stress amounting, how can I take it?
Is God testing me? Or is the devil trying to make me go back to the world?

I talk to cell members now. It's like its totally different from before.
Just different. I feel I can't talk to them. Like a wall between us.

I've been watch live services on the internet from my church.
Even today.
But the messages don't impact me anymore. Dosen't touch into my lives anymore.

Have I backslided? No!
I will build up my faith in God.
It dosen't matter if I have to start all out again,
new cell group or even a new church (I hope NOT, I love CHC).
I know where I was wasn't where God placed me in.
So I'm waiting. I trust in Him. I know that He will never betray me.

Amen.